© 2020 Patrick McAndrew

  • Pat McAndrew

Do We Want Relationships?



Relationships or No Relationships?


I found a video performed by Jay Shetty today. The video questions whether or not we, as humans, want relationships. We are aiming for the superficial instead of the deep, “we spend more time investing in our Tinder profiles than we do our personalities,” “we want the façade of a relationship instead of the work of a relationship.” “The things that are truly fulfilling, all require patience. They all require work.  They all require energy.”

Jay Shetty is dropping some truth bombs left and right in this video. He brings up a good point; things that are truly fulfilling require patience, work, and energy.The age of instant gratification and patience don’t really go well together. This could be the reason why we feel so lonely and depressed. We are looking for quick fixes when, what we truly need to do, is invest more into our relationships.


Staying At Surface Level


It is becoming increasingly difficult to go below the surface when it comes to our interactions with one another. Sometimes the environment calls for this. While we may find one or two people on occasion at networking events that we really jive with and have a meaningful conversation with, it’s not too often that these conversations go much deeper. A quick exchange with a bus driver, as delightful or dreadful as it may be, will likely not reach any depth. So, yes, the environment is a factor in some cases. But, more often than not, we are creating the environment around us and we often tend to create a surface level atmosphere.


We are much less likely to “go deep” when we aren’t surrounded by a loving community of people that we trust. It’s human nature to have our guards up initially. But it’s also important to stay open, available, and willing to listen. Many of us shut off. It’s easier to retreat to our phones. It’s more comfortable. And it feels safer.


The Path of Least Resistance


We are a generation that strives for ease, convenience, and the paths of least resistance. But true relationships require quite the opposite. This juxtaposition has created an immense amount of distortion within individuals, families, friends, businesses, schools, and many other communities. The ease of technology is being favored over the work of relationships. The convenience of the Internet is being favored over the awkwardness of initial conversations. But it is through the awkward, it is through the uncomfortable, that we grow as human beings.


The Cost


Despite the amazing opportunities that technology offers, it’s coming at a cost. We are sacrificing our ability to truly connect, interact, and empathize for the safety behind our screens. And why wouldn’t we? Human beings are naturally lazy creatures. We are going to want to utilize the quickest way to get form point A to point B. In some ways, this is incredible and highly efficient. But when it comes to relationships, this methodology does not work. We can’t fast-track the relationships we make. We can’t build trust and understanding in an instant. It takes time.


Even as technology continues to advance and things like artificial intelligence become more mainstream, we will still have to rely on human relationships. The more relationships we have and the deeper those relationships are, the greater fulfillment we will have and the happier we will be. All we have to do is make our relationships a priority and work on them instead of trying to make the contact just to have the contact.